Lately I have been pondering this statement: when you hit speed bumps along life's road, keep on going. May 9th, I hit the biggest speed bump of my life. The passing of my mother has been difficult, to say the least. Another "speed bump" I have been dealing with is acceptance. Ever since I was in elementary school I have struggled to fit in. My role in friendships then was the loyal friend, doormat, and one to be used and abused. Throughout my teens and college years, it continued to be an issue. Now having moved to a foreign country and knowing virtually no one has proved to be quite a challenge. God has provided a few people with whom I can talk to openly. However, one of those people was a student teacher who left tonight. Another close friend is gone most of break. So here I sit: alone.
Alone... Why is that such a problem? God is all I need, so why do I long to be accepted by others? Others look at your outside appearance, actions, and interactions. God, on the other hand, looks at our heart. I am truly thankful for that, seeing as how I daily make mistakes while trying to live a godly life. Over break, it is a goal of mine is to truly seek out God. While God is all we need, He has designed us to be in relationship with one another, whether that is through marriage or by being related by blood or simply be extending friendship to one another. It is my desire to seek out answers from the Bible on friendships, acceptance, and how to keep God above all else while following His plan for my life.
Looking back at the semester, I can see how God has been at work in my life. Change is rarely easy. Most often it is hard and painful. God never said a life with Him would be easy, but it will bring us joy and allow us to have eternal life in Heaven! He has blessed me with an amazing family back home who prays for me daily. My students have been a huge blessing to me, especially yesterday. They showed me so much love through hugs, gifts, and encouraging words. It was overwhelming to receive so much love from eight and nine year olds! Each student has their own strengths and it is a joy helping them to develop those strengths, as well as gently guide them along in their weaknesses.
Perhaps it took God calling me to an island to spark the change in me He wants to see. When I am called home to Heaven someday, I want nothing more than to hear, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." The real question is, "Am I living a life worthy of the King of Kings? The Saviour of the world?"
